Discovered 13 Billion Naira, What Next?

A lot has played out in the Political, Economic, even Entertainment and health sectors of Nigeria. The aim of this discussion, bothers on the recently reported discovery of the sum of 13 billion Naira cash found in apartment 7b, otherwise called "Apartment Dash-Dash", in Osborne Towers, Ikoyi, Lagos - Nigeria.

Apartment 7b was referred to as "Dash-Dash" because in the records of ownership, two dash (--) appeared in lieu of ownership identity. "Whistle blowers" of apartment dash dash were revealed to be ex-security guards at the residential building, who according to reports, enjoyed some level of largess, or "dash-dash" from a haggardly dressed woman, who repeatedly brought huge bags containing what is believed to be money, to the apartment. According to one of the whistle blowers, he received the sums of 10,000 and 500 naira respectively, on two occasions, when he helped the woman with the bag(s) of money.

Dialogue: 

Crowd at a Newspaper stand at a popular bus-stop in a major Nigerian Metropolis.

Vendor: Please, I will not entertain free reading of any kind today, better hold your =N=70 if you wan read today's news. I no fit shout abeg.

Reader 1, an unemployed middle aged man: In this harsh economic situation you are requesting for =N=70...to read Newspaper...you no dey pity people?

Reader 2: Don't mind him, now he will blame it on the Dollar..wasn't it =N=50 before now..or do you have to fly to the U.S to get the papers?

Reader 1: No he went to the Moon....sighs

Vendor made to pack up his papers..Reader 2 puts his right hand into his right trouser pocket and brought out a rumpled =N=50 note, he asked Reader 1 if he has =N=20 on him. Reader one gave him a squeezed =N=20 note. He hands it over to the vendor.

Vendor: So the two of you wants to share a =N=70 readership???

Reader 1: Mr man what's your problem, we never pay you?

Reader 3, an elderly man in his 50s approach the Newspaper stand...hands the Vendor a =N=100 note...and picks up one of the Newspapers.. 

Reader 2: Picks one of the Newspapers with a screaming headline..."=N=13 Billion Discovered in An Ikoyi Apartment". 

Flips through to the page where the story is written.

Mumbles...Mmmm these people have come again.

Reader 1: Peeks into the paper...screams...13 billion whaaaat?

Reader 3: Flips his paper to the page.....what on earth have we turned into in this country?

Vendor: The question should be "what on earth have some of our so called leaders turned to"?

Reader 4, a young man in his 20s arrived the stand: 

..Most of them are callous thieves... that's what they turned to, a long time ago...is it not the ikoyi apartment money? I already saw it online

Reader 3: Can you imagine...a whooping =N=13 billion starched away in an apartment...meanwhile most of us are yet to get our gratuity after retirement...not to talk of pension...nah so so "money no dey -money no dey" we dey hear. 

Vendor: Well..we don see where some of the money bin dey...in apartment "Dash-Dash".

Reader 1: With hands folded on his chest as if he was catching cold.

...Meennnn this is heartless...and here I am job-hunting since the past 1 year that I lost my job...every where I go, I get turned down due to "recession"; most companies are not recruiting.

Reader 4: Laughs...but bros...you are not new in Naija nah....you suppose don sabi your people wella...job deyooo, you fit begin blow whistle.

Reader 3: As unto referee that he is abii, can you get serious for once?

Reader 2: And what do you mean "sabi your people"? does it mean something good cannot always come out from some of these people...must it be one heist after another...

Reader 3: Cuts in...This one go come thief him own, another one go come..thief him own...like say nah competition of who thief pass.

Reader 2: By the way, WHO owns that apartment?

Everyone chorused : WHO you dey ask?

Reader 4: Are we EFCC?

Vendor: Or are we CBN?

Reader 2: That is the million Dollar question...WHO owns the apartment?

Reader 4: Bros..the way I see the situation now...nah only that apartment waka comeooo.

Laughter

Reader 3: Yes now, as every one suddenly don deny any knowledge of WHO owns the apartment.

Reader 4: They should go and look for "Dash-Dash"...nah him get the apartment.

Laughs

Reader 1: This is not funny at all..

Everyone replies almost at once: Watin you want make we do?

Reader 3: Since they are shameless...make we help them out nah...who are they deceiving?

Reader 2: Right now...there is not much to say..until the culprit is identified...

Reader 3: And announced to the pubic...because nah our money be that...nah the Nigerian masses money be that...not after a while they will cover the case after collecting their own share.

Reader 4: But that has always been the case...were you expecting any difference in this case? 

Everyone: Lets keep our fingers crossed

Reader 1: True, lets give them the benefit of doubt...and see how this plays out...

Reader 4: We are watching and waiting...patiently....meanwhile... its like I will join this "whistle blowing" Businessooo, seems like that is where the money is. See as those ex-guards don hammer.

Reader 2: I hope these "whistle blowers" are being protected....make them no go blow whistle disappear into thin air.

Lights out!